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8 tips to help you become more resilient
Science Jan 5, 2018 / Meg Jay

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Clinical psychologist Meg Jay ( 18k rose gold Wave Huggie hoops Sabine Getty fayYRQvH0
) doesn’t like the idea of bouncing back from adversity. “People do not feel understood when someone says, ‘Wow, you really bounced back from that.’ They don’t feel seen in all of their complexity, in terms of how hard it can be,’” she says. Instead, Jay likes to describe resilience as a heroic struggle. “It’s really a battle, not a bounce,” she says — an ongoing process that can last for years.

Jay has spent close to two decades studying adult development and listening to the stories of people in her clinical practice. Along the way, she’s learned important lessons about resilience, which she shared in her new book, Supernormal , and in a Facebook Live at TED’s NYC Headquarters in November. One key takeaway? “Resilience is not a trait. It’s not something you’re born with. It’s not something you just have,” she says. We’ve distilled her essential tips for how you can become more resilient.

Don’t be ashamed of what makes you stressed. “A lot of people say, ‘Well, I wasn’t in a war…’ They have to learn what the most common adversities are and see those as being legitimate chronic stressors.”

“You may not have alcoholism or drug abuse in your home, but I’m guessing you’ve been through something. Think about, ‘What were the three toughest times in my life? How did I get through those things?’ You probably already know something about being resilient.”

“Resilient people tend to be active copers. They say, ‘What am I going to do about this?’ versus, ‘When will I be released from this?’ It may not be solved overnight, but every problem can be approached somehow.”

“In general, resilient people tend to use the strengths they have. For different people, those are different. Some people have a great personality. For other people, it’s smarts or some sort of talent or a real work ethic. They use that to grab onto, to get through whatever’s in front of them.”

“One of the biggest predictors of faring well after an adversity is having people who cared. One thing that resilient people do is they seek support. It doesn’t have to be a therapist; it could be a best friend or an aunt or a partner. Resilient people actually use other people — rather than not let themselves need them.”

“Increase the number and quality of your relationships however you see fit. For some people, that will be, ‘There are two people in the world who know all of what there is to know about me.’ For other people, they’ll want to be known by a bigger community. Love is very powerful, and love is love. The brain doesn’t know one kind of love versus another. It just processes when it has a positive experience with another person. Get out there and feel like there are people who see you and understand you and who care – that’s it. It doesn’t matter where you’re getting that.”

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The Lawyers’ Committee for Civil Rights Under Law announced its plan to provide legal observers and jail support during the Families Belong Together Rally set to take place on Saturday, June 30, 2018 at Lafayette Square in Washington, D.C.

Kristen Clarke, president and executive director of the Lawyers’ Committee for Civil Rights Under Law, issued the following statement condemning the lack of diversity on President Trump’s short list of Supreme Court nominees following the announced retirement of Justice Anthony M. Kennedy:

Kristen Clarke, president and executive director of the Lawyers’ Committee for Civil Rights Under Law issued a statement on the fifth anniversary of the landmark Shelby County v. Holder Supreme Court 5-4 decision, which gutted Section 5of the Voting Rights Act.

Kristen Clarke, President and Executive Director of the Lawyers’ Committee for Civil Rights Under Law, issued a statement following the U.S. Supreme Court’s 5-4 judgement in Abbott v. Perez, overturning a lower court’s finding that Texas intentionally discriminated on the basis of race in redrawing its congressional and state political districts after the 2010 census.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Kristen Clarke, President and Executive Director of the Lawyers’ Committee for Civil Rights Under Law, released the following statement following the release of the Office of Management and Budget’s plan that outlines a major overhaul of the executive branch, including the merging of the Education and Labor departments into one federal agency.

Updates from the Lawyers’ Committee

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The July 2016 death of Alton Sterling at the hands of two Baton Rouge police officers and the subsequent decision by the Louisiana Attorney General and Department of Justice to not prosecute these officers added new chapters to the long, troubled history between local law enforcement and the city’s minority communities. For many Baton Rouge residents, these are not seen as isolated instances of injustice. Rather, they are part of the systemic pattern of law enforcement misconduct in interactions with marginalized communities that had gone unacknowledged for far too long. Others in the community, though, believe the officers acted reasonably under the circumstances. They view the ensuing civil protests, like other criticism of the police, as largely unjustified.

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Press Release June 29, 2018

Lawyers’ Committee for Civil Rights Under Law Mobilizes Legal Observer Program to Protect Protesters During Families Belong Together Rally

Press Release June 28, 2018

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Fast-moving fighter jets would have trouble escaping the aftermath of these massive explosions. On a nuclear mission, the Air Force expected its fighter pilots to fly toward their targets at altitudes greater than 30,000 feet before lobbing bombs at the enemy. With the bombs flying in an upward arc onto the target, the method would hopefully give the aircraft enough time to fly clear of the blast. But it’d still be a close call. The slower A-10s probably wouldn’t make it.

Despite what the Pentagon and senior Air Force leaders might say, the A-10 Warthog is far from a “ single-purpose airplane .” But dropping nuclear bombs might be one of the things the low- and slow-flying attackers actually can’t do.

But the Air Force once briefly considered the idea.

In December 1975, Secretary of Defense Bill Clements wanted to know how much it would cost to modify F-15 and F-16 fighter jets so they could carry atomic weapons. Two months later, the Air Force sent back data on what it would take to upgrade those two types of aircraft—or the A-10—with nukes.

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“For your information, we have also provided similar cost data on the A-10 aircraft,” states an unclassified memo War Is Boring obtained from the Air Force Historical Research Agency.

“The estimated cost to make 275 A-10s nuclear-capable is $15.9 million.”

The total amount—equivalent to more than $65 million today—would cover developing and testing the required equipment, and installing it on the Warthog fleet.

The flying branch’s calculations included systems needed to support B-43, B-57 and B-61 bombs.

At the time, these three bombs were the standard nuclear weapons for aircraft in the U.S. military. If a shooting war broke out in Europe, America’s NATO allies would have gotten access to these weapons, too. Newer versions of the B-61 remain in service today.

Obviously, the Air Force never ended up arming the A-10s with nukes.

But Clement’s desire for more nuclear-armed aircraft is hardly surprising. During the Cold War, the Pentagon expected to use nuclear bombs, artillery shells and missiles to fend off a Soviet invasion of Europe.

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